To the story I finally want to let go
I am a self declared hopeless romantic person. I am the total package of that two words.
I binge watch all Nicholas Sparks novel movie adaptation. These are my own fairytales. Allie and Noah are my prince and princess. They give chills to my bones. They make me swoon and have butterflies in my stomach. They make me believe that Love is true.
Chocolates, flowers, dates, handwritten letters are my "thing" when it comes to courting. They make my heart beats faster than it usually does.
I want an ordinary lovestory. The usual boy meets girl. Stranger/ friends turned into lovers. I don't want excess script to my story. I want it the way I see those romantic movies from beginning up to its ending.
Once upon a time not so long ago....
I had my own fairytale story.
He is my prince. My knight in shinning armor. My the One.
We are the typical, we fight and we make out. From petty to serious ones. We explore everything that life can offer to us. We enjoyed each moment that we are together. We kissed at night, held hands while walking in the busy street of Manila. We cuddle to each other in a cold weather. We planned the future, everything may seem to be different from what I expected but I was happy that time. I was contented. I was starting to see the future with him by my side. I'm ready to have him for the rest of my life. Everyone thought I was crazy. To give my world to him was an absurd idea but that was love that time. It was love for me and against all odds I'm still willing to take all the risks with him. To take all chances we have just to prove our own forever.
Everything was perfect. He cooks for me. He visits me almost everyday and I do the same for him too. It was really the life I wanted 5 years from that day. I know it's cliche but that's all I got. A vision of us. Love is all I can hold on to. His promises are the things I have, to fight and make us last.
For me, he is really the one I see at the end of the altar waiting for my "I do".
But one day everything changed. I felt the coldness embracing our relationship. We just lost that spark we used to have. We can stand not to see each other or talk to each other for a week. It was painful to see my fairytale ending that way. I felt like everything was falling apart. We managed not to celebrate the 2nd year I said YES to him. My heart was torn into pieces, I don't know what went wrong. I can't barely remember what happened to us.
I got fed up with the situation. I have to choose and I made a decision. I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought it will make me happy. I can no longer bear to have him and feels like his heart is not with me.
I chose to put a period in our story.
Maybe we are better off without each other.
Since that day, I promised not to cry for him. I told myself to be happy but you can't cheat yourself. You know whom your heart beats for. For the following years of course I gone through the course of asking myself "What if". What if I hold on a little more , where would it bring us?
What if I took the risk of loving and bearing with him for a little more time, what would happen to us?
But of course I never had the answers to these What ifs.
Through time I managed to just let things by and be friends with him. But as the saying goes, "you can never be friends to someone you once fall in love with".
I still tried to reach him but then as every year I failed to be closer to him. It was my turning point. For the second time I got fed up on trying and now this is me letting this story finally ends. Putting a period at the very end of the blank paper.
This is me giving a break to our story.
It may not be the one I imagined and it may not end with happily ever after but I'm still happy. Happy, because at the end of the day it is OUR story. It's not Jamie and Landon's story or Noah and Allie but ours. My story with him.
I binge watch all Nicholas Sparks novel movie adaptation. These are my own fairytales. Allie and Noah are my prince and princess. They give chills to my bones. They make me swoon and have butterflies in my stomach. They make me believe that Love is true.
Chocolates, flowers, dates, handwritten letters are my "thing" when it comes to courting. They make my heart beats faster than it usually does.
I want an ordinary lovestory. The usual boy meets girl. Stranger/ friends turned into lovers. I don't want excess script to my story. I want it the way I see those romantic movies from beginning up to its ending.
Once upon a time not so long ago....
I had my own fairytale story.
He is my prince. My knight in shinning armor. My the One.
We are the typical, we fight and we make out. From petty to serious ones. We explore everything that life can offer to us. We enjoyed each moment that we are together. We kissed at night, held hands while walking in the busy street of Manila. We cuddle to each other in a cold weather. We planned the future, everything may seem to be different from what I expected but I was happy that time. I was contented. I was starting to see the future with him by my side. I'm ready to have him for the rest of my life. Everyone thought I was crazy. To give my world to him was an absurd idea but that was love that time. It was love for me and against all odds I'm still willing to take all the risks with him. To take all chances we have just to prove our own forever.
Everything was perfect. He cooks for me. He visits me almost everyday and I do the same for him too. It was really the life I wanted 5 years from that day. I know it's cliche but that's all I got. A vision of us. Love is all I can hold on to. His promises are the things I have, to fight and make us last.
For me, he is really the one I see at the end of the altar waiting for my "I do".
But one day everything changed. I felt the coldness embracing our relationship. We just lost that spark we used to have. We can stand not to see each other or talk to each other for a week. It was painful to see my fairytale ending that way. I felt like everything was falling apart. We managed not to celebrate the 2nd year I said YES to him. My heart was torn into pieces, I don't know what went wrong. I can't barely remember what happened to us.
I got fed up with the situation. I have to choose and I made a decision. I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought it will make me happy. I can no longer bear to have him and feels like his heart is not with me.
I chose to put a period in our story.
Maybe we are better off without each other.
Since that day, I promised not to cry for him. I told myself to be happy but you can't cheat yourself. You know whom your heart beats for. For the following years of course I gone through the course of asking myself "What if". What if I hold on a little more , where would it bring us?
What if I took the risk of loving and bearing with him for a little more time, what would happen to us?
But of course I never had the answers to these What ifs.
Through time I managed to just let things by and be friends with him. But as the saying goes, "you can never be friends to someone you once fall in love with".
I still tried to reach him but then as every year I failed to be closer to him. It was my turning point. For the second time I got fed up on trying and now this is me letting this story finally ends. Putting a period at the very end of the blank paper.
This is me giving a break to our story.
It may not be the one I imagined and it may not end with happily ever after but I'm still happy. Happy, because at the end of the day it is OUR story. It's not Jamie and Landon's story or Noah and Allie but ours. My story with him.
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