Dear CC ... Thank you and Goodbye!
Dear CC,
I've been looking into this blank paper for like two hours. I still don't have any idea how will I translate my feelings into letters. How mumbled words in my mind will transcend into sentence with emotions. I don't even know the reasons why I'm writing you this letter. I just feel like I need to say this at least for once.
I know I'm beating the bush with my words but let me just have air to breath.
This is me and my story for you.. with you for the past 12 years that I've known you.
I can still remember those days when we played under the heat of the sun. You out stand all other kids in our street that time. Your chinito looks and well groomed appearance are the reasons why I laid my eyes on you.
For the second time in my life I felt like my heart is beating for a reason, for someone. We were young and I don't know the right words to describe how I felt during that moment but I know there is something there. I learned your name from my cousin and it makes me giggle. I told myself " parehas kami ng name, pang guy lang yung kanya". It may not be my exact words but I just find that coincident amazing and cool. Since then I was thinking how would you notice me when I'm just the simple girl playing in the street.
Until one day I got my chance to play with you. Being the competitive girl I forget my feelings and aimed to get all your marbles. On the same day I realized that you are not from our street but rather you were just visiting someone, relatives I guess.
Day by day I looked for a sign of you hoping that I could play with you. Hoping to spend another memories with you that I can keep in my mind.
In short I developed my feelings for you and wished silently at night that you could be mine like forever. I was happy and giggling every time we were together or even by just looking or knowing you were there but then I learned I was older than you. It felt like everything is not in it's proper place. I told myself, my heart should not feel this way. My mind should not think about you and me in one sentence. Being older than the guy is a big NO NO. It's like a golden rule I set for myself before falling in love. But I guess, we all make exceptions when it comes to love. I felt the harder I tried to avoid my feelings for you, the harder I will fall for you.
I was really falling so deep with you until I met your uncle who was older than me if I'm not mistaken. He was different from you. He has firm muscles and manly physique. He is the kind of guy who can make a girl safe in his arms. For a moment I forgot my feelings for you but I know that it was still you. It was still you I will think when the moon goes up and the sun goes down. It was still you I'm falling head over heels. But at the same time it was you I want to forget.
Fast forward we lost the communication and we didn't see each other anymore.
Thanks to mobile phones I got to reach you again but that was just a short period of time. I got into a serious relationship and I love him more than anything in the world. I was happy but forever doesn't exist in reality.
I reconnected with you through facebook. There, I told you my break up story and I kinda rekindled my feelings with you when I was 9 years old. I was joking about you being single. You would always tell me that computer is your girl and I felt sad but still happy to be your friend.
Until one day, you told me you are in a relationship and it's a serious one.
Since that day I told myself that I will be your friend or even a sister like. I still have feelings for you just like before, like how I felt those butterflies in my stomach the first time I laid my eyes on you. Like the way I giggle every time we play together. Like how I form a smile in my face knowing you were there during weekend.
I was happy you found your better half and still we became friends. It was hard but I will treasure the relationship we had. You were part of my childhood. You were my childhood crush and for now I'm letting that feeling go. I'm finally seeing you as a friend more than just a guy I had crush on when I was young and innocent.
I realized that you will always be my little brother who happens to grow bigger than me. You were my sweetest regret because I had feelings with you when all I know about love is just I LOVE YOU. You were the right guy at the wrong time for me. I'm genuinely happy and hope I could really meet your girl and of course with your treat :). You are one of the closest guy to me right now and if one day we meet again I'll make sure we will still be happy just like before. And if that day comes I hope we both have rings on our fingers and we can sit and laugh about these memories.
Last thing I want to say thank you for being there ever since I needed someone to talk to. Thank you for not reciprocating my feelings for you when we were young because I might not have you right now if that happened. Thank you for being the love I almost had in exchange for the friendship I'll always have. Thank you for being my childhood crush!.
I've been looking into this blank paper for like two hours. I still don't have any idea how will I translate my feelings into letters. How mumbled words in my mind will transcend into sentence with emotions. I don't even know the reasons why I'm writing you this letter. I just feel like I need to say this at least for once.
I know I'm beating the bush with my words but let me just have air to breath.
This is me and my story for you.. with you for the past 12 years that I've known you.
I can still remember those days when we played under the heat of the sun. You out stand all other kids in our street that time. Your chinito looks and well groomed appearance are the reasons why I laid my eyes on you.
For the second time in my life I felt like my heart is beating for a reason, for someone. We were young and I don't know the right words to describe how I felt during that moment but I know there is something there. I learned your name from my cousin and it makes me giggle. I told myself " parehas kami ng name, pang guy lang yung kanya". It may not be my exact words but I just find that coincident amazing and cool. Since then I was thinking how would you notice me when I'm just the simple girl playing in the street.
Until one day I got my chance to play with you. Being the competitive girl I forget my feelings and aimed to get all your marbles. On the same day I realized that you are not from our street but rather you were just visiting someone, relatives I guess.
Day by day I looked for a sign of you hoping that I could play with you. Hoping to spend another memories with you that I can keep in my mind.
In short I developed my feelings for you and wished silently at night that you could be mine like forever. I was happy and giggling every time we were together or even by just looking or knowing you were there but then I learned I was older than you. It felt like everything is not in it's proper place. I told myself, my heart should not feel this way. My mind should not think about you and me in one sentence. Being older than the guy is a big NO NO. It's like a golden rule I set for myself before falling in love. But I guess, we all make exceptions when it comes to love. I felt the harder I tried to avoid my feelings for you, the harder I will fall for you.
I was really falling so deep with you until I met your uncle who was older than me if I'm not mistaken. He was different from you. He has firm muscles and manly physique. He is the kind of guy who can make a girl safe in his arms. For a moment I forgot my feelings for you but I know that it was still you. It was still you I will think when the moon goes up and the sun goes down. It was still you I'm falling head over heels. But at the same time it was you I want to forget.
Fast forward we lost the communication and we didn't see each other anymore.
Thanks to mobile phones I got to reach you again but that was just a short period of time. I got into a serious relationship and I love him more than anything in the world. I was happy but forever doesn't exist in reality.
I reconnected with you through facebook. There, I told you my break up story and I kinda rekindled my feelings with you when I was 9 years old. I was joking about you being single. You would always tell me that computer is your girl and I felt sad but still happy to be your friend.
Until one day, you told me you are in a relationship and it's a serious one.
Since that day I told myself that I will be your friend or even a sister like. I still have feelings for you just like before, like how I felt those butterflies in my stomach the first time I laid my eyes on you. Like the way I giggle every time we play together. Like how I form a smile in my face knowing you were there during weekend.
I was happy you found your better half and still we became friends. It was hard but I will treasure the relationship we had. You were part of my childhood. You were my childhood crush and for now I'm letting that feeling go. I'm finally seeing you as a friend more than just a guy I had crush on when I was young and innocent.
I realized that you will always be my little brother who happens to grow bigger than me. You were my sweetest regret because I had feelings with you when all I know about love is just I LOVE YOU. You were the right guy at the wrong time for me. I'm genuinely happy and hope I could really meet your girl and of course with your treat :). You are one of the closest guy to me right now and if one day we meet again I'll make sure we will still be happy just like before. And if that day comes I hope we both have rings on our fingers and we can sit and laugh about these memories.
Last thing I want to say thank you for being there ever since I needed someone to talk to. Thank you for not reciprocating my feelings for you when we were young because I might not have you right now if that happened. Thank you for being the love I almost had in exchange for the friendship I'll always have. Thank you for being my childhood crush!.
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