I'm Sorry and I Promise

PS: I started writing this last 2017 ...

I have been thankful to God for giving my prayer a beautiful answer. I experienced a story that I want to tell and retell regardless of the ending.

I met you as a sweet escape from my reality. You made me believe that love exists. That we can all be loved and we are capable of loving. The times I've been with you is nothing but dreams I long to come true. Every time I hold your hands; it's like holding my happiness, I don't want to let go.

We were doing fine until I became selfish. I got scared to believe that this is real. I was coward to hold your hands when everything got a little rough. I was weak to be your strength when you are falling down. And I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that even after building that 5 years from now kind of life, I still manage to slip out my hands from yours. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry, even if you are one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to me I ruined you.

I wished to see you one last time but I was denied. I was denied to see your hazelnut colored eyes. I was denied to hug the clothe that embraces your body. I was denied to breathe the smell you wear every day. I was denied to listen to the stories of the people you encountered. I was denied to taste the menu of the day. I was denied to feel the warmth of your palms. And that is because when I let go I was denied to have a glimpse of you.

Honestly, I hoped that you will hold on. You will tell me to stay and fight but you didn't. I guess because of that one time fight we both lost. I never blamed you because it was my decision. I was not sure if that was the right thing to do but I have to make a choice. And I chose to hurt the only person that treasures me. And it was the sweetest regret I ever had in my life

But you know what, I never regret meeting you in my earlier days. If ever given chance I will still meet you the same exact day. The exact moments we had are what we needed to grow to be the persons we are now. You were exactly the happiness I'm longing at that time and I thank you for that.

As you live your dreams and achieve your goals with the person who owns you now, I'm happy. I promise to smile every time I hear your name. I promise to be proud of what you are now. I promise to clap as I cheer on your success. I promise to support you from a distance. I promise to thank her when we meet because she made you whole again. And lastly, I promise to treasure and bury deep within my heart our memories.

I loved you yesterday, I treasure you today, And I will remember you tomorrow.